Saturday, September 10, 2011

Grief Stirs



Today I picked up a box of apples from a friend whose brother brings them over from his orchard in Yakima. Fresh Gala apples! Now I need to figure out what to do with all these apples.


However, this post is not about the apples.


While I was there, my friend's husband was there and came over to chat. He retired recently in April and was telling me of his retirement activities. As he was telling me about his garden, I could see the glimmer in his eye (behind his sunglasses) while he shared with me the peace and joy he receives from being out in his garden. "When I'm out here, I can't see the roads, just this bit of nature, and I love it."


It totally took me by surprise. I wasn't expecting it. It came from out of nowhere and I had to put my own sunglasses back on to hide the tears that were forming in my eyes. To see the joy on this man's face reminded me of my dad. I never got to see much of the joy of retirement on my dad's face. He hadn't talked to me for the last three or so years; when I went to see him in the hospital in El Paso, that was the first time in a long time.


This man told me about how he enjoys his family more now and realizes how much he had missed out on all those years with working. It made me wonder if my dad had any regrets. If he ever realized before he died how much of his family's lives he missed out on. How much of mine. How much of my kids'. This life is so fleeting.


And grief shows up unexpectedly.

2 comments:

  1. Funny this came up for you. Last weekend when I was at the Gem and Mineral show here in town, I came upon a ring that suddenly reminded me of my Grandma. I burst into tears. I haven't cried about my Grandma in years. It was so sudden and so unexpected. I guess no matter how long it's been or what our relationship was like, grief over lost ones can spring up when we least expect it.

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